LETTERS

Dear Son,
I am writing this real slow, 'cause I know you can't read very fast. We don't live where we did when you left. We read in the paper that most accidents happen within 10 miles of home so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address 'cause we don't have one. The last family that lived here took the numbers off the house with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in, pulled the chain and I ain't seem 'em since. It only rained twice this week — Three days the first time and four days the second time. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

You know the coat you wanted me to send to you? Well ... Aunt Sue said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons on it, so we cut them off. I put them in the pockets so you can sew them back on. Your sister had her baby this morning, I ain't heard whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you're an uncle or an aunt. She says if it's a girl she will name it after me and call it mom.

Your Uncle John fell in a whiskey vat, some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up truck the other day. One was driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two drowned cause they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There's not much news this time, nothin' much has happened.
Love, Mama
PS - I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

LETTERS TO GOD FROM KIDS
Dear GOD,
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
Love, Chris
Dear GOD,
We read in school that Thomas Edison made light, but in Sunday School they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea.
Sincerely, Donna

Dear GOD,
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. — Nan

Dear GOD,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. — Larry

Dear GOD,
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions. — Ruth M.

Dear GOD,
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. — Your friend (But I am not going to tell you who I am)

Dear GOD,
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? — Jane

Dear GOD,
Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother! — Darla

Dear GOD,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up. — Bruce

Dear GOD,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? — Jane

Dear GOD,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? — Norma

Dear GOD,
Who draws the lines around the countries? — Nan

Dear GOD,
Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? — Lucy

Dear GOD,
People say we aren't supposed to question you or your works. Is that true? — Gina